The air is foul in the dimly-lit cantina, but not nearly
as foul as the expression on the mysterious alien's face as he realizes the
inevitable. He throws up his many appendages in disgust as he slides the
credit chips across the table. A muscular, thickly-furred arm rakes in the
winnings from yet another solid hand of sabacc.
"Nice game, Chewie," his buddy says from the bar. Everyone's favorite
Wookiee (tm) nods toward his friend Han Solo (tm) and lets out an approving
series of grunts and growls. Han chuckles.
But Han is too busy hitting on the Twi'lek barmaid to hear the ominous
footsteps behind him. He turns just as a huge, pale-skinned hand falls on
his shoulder. Han goes for his blaster, but is just a fraction of a second
too slow, as the muscular forearm of everyone's favorite Czarnian (tm) backhands
the defenseless smuggler, knocking him out cold.
Chewbacca leaps to his feet and draws his bowcaster, but the stranger
slings a menacing-looking (is there any other kind?) gutting hook in his
direction, swiping the weapon from the Wookiee's grasp. The intruder
laughs
and
ignores Chewie, turning to face the barmaid. "Evenin', gorgeous,"
the gravely voice rumbles. "Gimme your best drink... from the bar for now."
The Twi'lek smiles and turns to find the infamous bounty hunter something
to drink.
Suddenly, a powerful right hook from Chewie sends Lobo sprawling. The
Wookiee manages to relieve the bounty hunter of his gutting hook, leaving
both combatants without their primary weapons.
Lobo hauls himself to his feet and glares at his opponent. "
Big
mistake, Donkey Kong. Yer' messin' with the
main man, ya dang dirty
ape!"
Chewie just flexes menacingly and stares down the comic-book antihero.
"Oh, so it's another one of
these, huh?" Lobo chuckles. "Alright,
ya fraggin'
bastich! Your
death wish is my
command!"
He wrenches a steel post from a nearby table as the terrified barmaid dives
beneath another table, landing atop the still-coming-to Han Solo. Chewbacca
wrenches the right arm from a nearby patron as most of the crowd in the cantina
starts filtering toward the exits.
Chewie growls at the grinning bounty hunter in Wookie-speak.
Lobo just smiles back. "Let's get it on," he growls.
So, we have the copilot of the
Millennium Falcon and the annihilator
of Czarnia squaring off in the middle of the Mos Eisley cantina (and
yes,
the Modal Nodes are playing that little Benny Goodman-sounding ditty in the
background). Nobody else can enter the fight, and they can only use improvised
weapons - basically, any inanimate object in the cantina that's not tied
down securely enough. Who comes out on top in this battle of fanboy fantasy?
